With the release of Dissidia for the PSP, many Final Fantasy Characters are angry with Square Enix. Our correspondent was there at the virtual scene:
BISS: Excuse me, why are you all protesting?
Edge: This is blatant favoritism! Why should that sissy Cecil get the screen time and I get nothing? Without me and Rydia, he never would've done anything.
Sabin: Yeah, my brother and I did all the work and what do we get? We get the shaft while the freaky half-human chick gets the glory!
BISS: Where is Edgar, anyway? I don't see him around.
Sabin: I think I saw him wander off with your assistant.
BISS: [sigh, eyeing the rocking news-van]
Yuna: And Tidus! I went through a whole extra game looking for that bastard and this is how he thanks me!
Tifa: You think you've got it rough? Try hauling these boobs around all day. Do you have any idea how much porn they've made out of me?
BISS: Well, I can see Square has a lot to answer for... hey what's that little guy in the black robes doing?
Garnet: Oh no, Vivi, NO! Not that! Everybody run!
BISS: [running from the Meteor] This has been a BISS News special report-
[static]
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
DAMN THE NEWS, FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!
USE OF CAPS FOUND TO BE THERAPEUTIC, ACCORDING TO POLL OF INTERNET TROLLS
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Trolling found to be annoying, according to everyone else.
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Irresponsible statements on the rise. No source cited.
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A panel of scientists and librarians recently approved the use of Wikipedia as a primary source in academic, legal and cultural study.
"Yeah, all right," said one, "Go ahead and cite wiki. We just don't care anymore..."
Students and lazy people everywhere rejoice.
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Researchers at the Stockholm Institute for Laziness have discovered ... stuff ... you know ... ah, who cares?
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Residents of Tokyo were alarmed yesterday by reports that Godzilla was approaching the city intent on wreaking mayhem and destruction. Luckily, due to an error in scale, Godzilla was placed in a cat carrier and adopted by a local reptile lover after having its picture taken numerous times.
"So desu ne?" was the widespread reaction, along with much speculation about where all the bases are that belong to them.
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A linguistics panel at UCLA Berkley recently concluded that "Engrish rocks!"
Their opinion on Spanglish is not known at this time, but if anyone has seen a water pipe in the shape of a Gundam suit, please return to the Linguistics department.
---
Trolling found to be annoying, according to everyone else.
---
Irresponsible statements on the rise. No source cited.
---
A panel of scientists and librarians recently approved the use of Wikipedia as a primary source in academic, legal and cultural study.
"Yeah, all right," said one, "Go ahead and cite wiki. We just don't care anymore..."
Students and lazy people everywhere rejoice.
---
Researchers at the Stockholm Institute for Laziness have discovered ... stuff ... you know ... ah, who cares?
---
Residents of Tokyo were alarmed yesterday by reports that Godzilla was approaching the city intent on wreaking mayhem and destruction. Luckily, due to an error in scale, Godzilla was placed in a cat carrier and adopted by a local reptile lover after having its picture taken numerous times.
"So desu ne?" was the widespread reaction, along with much speculation about where all the bases are that belong to them.
---
A linguistics panel at UCLA Berkley recently concluded that "Engrish rocks!"
Their opinion on Spanglish is not known at this time, but if anyone has seen a water pipe in the shape of a Gundam suit, please return to the Linguistics department.
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