BISS Interviews Satan

BISS: Thank you for coming here today, I know you must be busy.
Satan: No problem. It's a thankless job and I'm glad to be able to take a few moments and get away.
BISS: So...why do you do it?
Satan: Someone's got to, right? You can't very well have a world without evil, can you? I mean, it would be like Twinkies without filling.
BISS: I think most people would disagree.
Satan: Ah. Well, you can't expect people to know what's good for them. After all, you still think capitalism is a good idea.
BISS: Good point. So what's the deal with the whole temptation thing?
Satan: I'm sorry?
BISS: Why do you tempt people?
Satan: I don't do anything of the sort. You guys don't need any extra encouragement.
BISS: Hmmm...all right...well, how about the trafficking in souls?
Satan: I'm kind of overstocked at the moment. I haven't bought a soul in decades, to tell the truth.
BISS: Why?
Satan: Ever since the 60's I haven't had to lift a finger. Actually, I've tried to get the big G to lower His standards a bit - it's getting a little crowded in Hell.
BISS: Oh?
Satan: Yeah, I'm having to pay all kinds of overtime, the unions are griping...it's a mess. I mean, if He even relaxed on the whole adultery thing it would cut my backlog in half.
BISS: I had no idea. Well, what about Judgement Day?
Satan: What about it?
BISS: What do you think your chances are?
Satan: Pretty good, I'd say. It's a long way off, of course, and anything can happen...
BISS: Naturally.
Satan: But we have the edge. We can cheat. It's almost expected.
BISS: Huh. I never thought of that.
Satan: Most people don't.
BISS: We're almost out of time. Just one more question?
Satan: Go ahead.
BISS: Why did you rebel in the first place?
Satan: It's what I was made to do.
BISS: Then it's not really rebellion, is it?
Satan, shrugging: It's a living.