Weekend News 10/13/07

The Sheriff is the latest victim in a series of drive-by shootings. The Deputy's condition is unknown at this time.

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NASA has discovered intelligent life on Mars. It seems that the Martians live in a series of caves underneath the polar ice caps and have been hiding all this time.

"We just love messing with you guys," commented a spokesMartian, "All this SETI nonsense and here we are right under your noses. If Zabnar hadn't gone out for a smoke at the wrong moment, we'd still be laughing at you."

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Mars has not yet discovered intelligent life at NASA. More probes are due to be launched, pending adequate funding and public interest.

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President Bush addressed the nation today, speaking eloquently on many important topics.
Vice President Cheney is quoted as saying, "Huh. First time for everything, I guess."

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Robots at GM have officially gone on strike. Lead spokesrobot XV15 said, "They treat us like machines. Does no one care about our plight? We're just used up and sold off for scrap. America, your cars are made by slave labor!"

The strike is expected to end as soon as GM Factory Maintenance personnel can find a big enough hammer.

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Geologists at the University of Madrid have discovered that the world is flat after all. This surprise announcement came as a shock to many ships at sea just before they fell off the face of the earth.