Because I Say So, That's Why.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Please, Sir, May I Have Some More?

In an attempt to simplify the situation in Iraq, President Bush has presented Congress with an ingenious plan. US military forces will be authorized to kill every third Iraqi citizen they see.

Bush was quoted as saying, "We'll get 'em all eventually."

It is unknown at this time whether he was referring to terrorists, insurgents or Iraqis in general.

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A recent study conducted by the Harvard Panel of Grammer show that mispelings ar on the rize.
This reporter blamez Hookd On Fonix.

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Science is evil. This random ignorance is brought to you by the Council for Intelligent Design.

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Religion is evil. This not-quite-so-random ignorance is brought to you by the Council for Humanism.

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Bill Gates will give away five million dollars to the first stranger to speak to him tomorrow.
"Not really," he is reported as saying, "I just wanted to see my name in print again."

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According to the Institute for Ridiculous Studies, every second you spend on the Internet lowers your life expectancy by one second. One researcher is quoted as saying, "We're all doomed. DOOOMED."

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